Grammar police's most-wanted: bloggers

A couple of heavyweight bloggers recently had their knuckles rapped over subpar grammar skills. The debate, predictably, turned to, "If people understand what's being communicated, why does it matter?"

Of course, I march with the grammar goon squad on this one. Casual conversation doesn't requite good grammar, true, but writing for a mass audience does. (Copy editors sometimes have to silence their overzealous deskmates with, "Edit copy, not speech!" Even the correctors need a break from correction.)

Puny grammar always makes the writer look bad. If a blogger doles out information that's desperately needed, it’s a lot easier to be forgiving. But when his or her readers have other choices, the smart ones will wander off.

I can sympathize. I slept through grammar in grade school, dropped out of high school and then wrote for a half dozen years using D-student grammar and sloppy spelling. I got away with it because of my sighing editors, who wielded mighty pencils.

Somehow, I ended up teaching incoming journalism students. Motivated by fear of student revolt, I spent a couple of years studying grammar and spelling rules. (This was a lot more fun than it sounds. I have Aspergian traits.)

Before long, I found my writing was greatly improved, not only by the new clarity but by a kind of strength and confidence. Like being a play-by-ear musician and suddenly acquiring the ability to read and write the notes.

It is never too late to learn. I always recommend "The Elements of Style" as a starting point. Killer book, short read. Almost fun.

Quality time with Strunk and White

"The Elements of Style" dates back to 1918. Its authors, William Strunk Jr. and E.B. White, left this life knowing nothing of the Internet. The book's tone is often preachy and a lot of its advice is outdated. It is the only book on the English language anyone really needs.

"The little book," or "Strunk and White," has come through four editions. White ("Charlotte's Web") was one of Strunk's students and a big fan of the professor's privately published handbook, so he made a deal to recast it for the public in the late 1950s. This, basically, is the version that all writers and English majors know. The last revision was done in 1999 by an anonymous editor who took out all the non-PC stuff.

I've always kept a copy near my desk, rereading it every year or so (it takes maybe an hour and a half). When my daughter first took to writing, I bought her a copy. As a journalism professor, I made the kids read it before I started cleaning up their spelling, grammar, usage.

You have to pick and choose what applies these days. I wouldn't advise bloggers to heed these rules: "Place yourself in the background. Do not affect a breezy manner. Prefer the standard to the offbeat." But all of us need to remember these: "Write in a way that comes naturally. Use figures of speech sparingly. Revise and rewrite."

Observing this golden rule -- "Do not overwrite" -- I am outta here. Happy reading.

It's simple, really

There are quite a few ways pros can spot amateur writers. Spelling is not such a tell anymore, since software programs started doing the proofing for us. Anyone smart enough to blog is smart enough to run the spellcheck, right? But the checker usually passes over legitimate words, regardless of whether the usage is right.

Misspelling it's/its is a classic. I once worked for a hardass who promised copyeditors they would be canned on the spot for confusing it's/its. He was a weird guy, but no one ever got it wrong after hearing that speech. Since then, anyone I hired for an editing job heard about that editor and his rule. That worked, too.

Remember it this way: Its is the possessive. So the "it" keeps the "s" close, being possessive (no giggling please). It's, the contraction, is the other one. I always stop a nano-second and read that word back to myself, as "It is." No matter how long you've been writing, no matter how well you know the rule, your fingers are itching to get it wrong.